NOrth Carolina Trip

well i just got back from rome over night which wasnt that bad cause it was suppose to be three days, but now at the end of this month is a north carolina trip for a week and want to go cause i mean its a new job and i need money cause i dont want to borrow money from other people cause it always a hassel and now that i got this job that i prayed so hard for and i have started trying to read more of the bible than i normally do which is none but when i started to do so good and one day i just prayed for a job and then i got a call and i have one and now my wife wants me to through it all away she could possible careless if i lost my job just put it that way she told me but she wants me to ask to see if i can back out of the north carolina trip i mean i just started and i will probably lose my job and i mean umm i dont know about every one else but job arent as easy to come across like they use to be. i have been doing so good i havent smoked in a good bit now i got a job and back in church and all i want is all is some one to be like you know hey good job, or like the good work is payin off, or like im proud of you but shit it just gets worse i told brandi that after this week trip there will be no more i will just tell them i cant do it anymore but i just dont know anymore i mean everyone else is happy for me why can't you be?